How Can Turning It Around Be So Easy?

If Your Relationship Seems So Hard Right Now… How Can Turning It Around Be So Easy? I want you to know 3 things.3 Truths to be exact.

Truth #1: Who’s To Blame

I want you to know that if you’ve been giving it your all to try and find love and make it work…And if you still feel like things aren’t working for you…You should know that it’s not all your fault. And, so we’re clear, it’s not all his fault either. Neither of you are to blame here for trying to be together and hitting some waves. Odds are you’ve ended up focusing your heart and mind on making things better in your relationship when they don’t feel like they’re working. But I hope that, unlike many other person, this hasn’t taken you away from the relaxed, confident and fun-loving person you used to be who your man/woman was attracted and drawn to in the first place. Where is this woman?Has she gotten a little lost in your relationship?If in thinking back you see that maybe you’ve let some of your fears and anxieties about the future stand in the way of you really opening up and loving as deeply and as purely as you know you can in the “NOW”… then you’ve got your first clue.
The question is… what are you going to do about it? Are you going to stay shut down, and keep closing off to love even though you don’t mean to? Or are you going to take a few simple steps that will change everything and bring your man’s love back to you? Here’s something you might not have really considered in all of this…If you’re feeling like everything is such a struggle, yet you’re trying your hardest…How do you think he’s feeling? When he pulls away from you is he really unaffected by you and just avoiding things and feeling nothing? Want to know what he’s feeling? I’ll tell you. He’s feeling it too…. whether he’s talking about it or not. He just has a different way of trying to deal with the pain and frustration that’s coming from you both not being able to connect and make things work the way they used to. He feels it, too. More than you might imagine.

Truth #2: He Cares, Even If He Doesn’t Show It

What’s the thing your man is most likely to do when things aren’t working?
You don’t have to tell me- I already know. When things don’t feel like they’re working… even if you’re man is going through the motions with you, he’s just not really PRESENT. It’s like he’s empty emotionally, and there’s no way to get him to engage with you and pay attention. Let alone be truly loving and affectionate. And what do most women do when this starts happening? They make the mistake of getting upset and looking to HIM for answers. Ummm… big mistake. Let me be the one to break it to you
He DOESN’T KNOW what’s happening, or why. So asking him what’s wrong and trying to show him what you see is never going to help things for you, or for him. A man can’t tell you what he needs because he often doesn’t know what it is he’s feeling himself, or why he’s feeling it. He just feels the way he feels, and the only thing he knows is that he’s not feeling the same kind of energy from you as when you were feeling more connected and happy together. And around and around you go- feeding off each others’ reactions to the other’s frustrations. In short, he doesn’t know what to do with the feelings your having… and he doesn’t know what to do with how this is making him act and feel. So what’s the worse thing you can do here?
Right- to keep getting upset and look to him for answers he doesn’t have for you. Don’t keep falling into that rut.

Truth #3: Your Ability To Love Can Overwhelm You

Do you sometimes feel like his MOTHER instead of his lover? Not fun for you. And it’s not like doing his laundry makes him feel passionate and attracted. Maybe you grew up believing that the more you GIVE to a relationship the more you GET in return. Makes sense right? The more effort you put into something, the more you get back. Well, it doesn’t work this way in troubled relationships. In fact, when things aren’t working, and your attempts to “fix” things only make things worse… the opposite ends up being true. It’s great to be a helpful and generous partner- but ultimately these things don’t end up mattering if you don’t have what’s really important working for you. If you ever find yourself GIVING…GIVING… GIVING and not getting much back… you’ve probably run into this. The hard part about this is that our partner SHOULD feel and appreciate the love you’re giving with all the things you do for him… but he often doesn’t. And when these things both leave you feeling OVERWHELMED, and they don’t even get you much love or appreciate back in return… it starts to feel like a waste of time. This dead end of giving, feeling drained, and then wanting to STOP GIVING and being frustrated with your man isn’t helping you or him. But this can only stop if you’re ready to let go, and if you’re ready to stop giving so much that you feel drained… and you know it’s time for you to start RECEIVING. If you don’t start finding a way to find and feel the love that your relationship is really all about, then it’s all going to be for nothing.