Monday, December 14, 2009

Problems with guys

#1;when you treat him nicely,he says you'are in love with him but when you don't,he says you are proud

#2;when you don't love him,he tries to possess you,but when you dohe says you are cheap

#3;when you break your promise you cannot be trusted,but when he breaks his,you force him to make it

#4;when you smoke,you are a bad girl but when do he's a or the perfect gentle man

#5;when you do well in your exams.you're lucky but when he does well,he's brainy

#6;when you hurt him ,you are hertless,but when he do,you're too sensitive

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

3 Traps That Women Fall Into

The 3 “Traps” That Can Kill Your Chances Of Ever Turning Your Relationship Around There are 3 big traps women fall into when things in their relationship aren’t working.

Dangerous Trap #1:

Taking Over For Him When Things Aren’t Working

Women can and should be assertive in their lives.It’s not a turn-off.It’s attractive, it’s natural, and it’s part of a woman’s power.Men appreciate and worship confidence, assertiveness and women who carry high self-esteem.Don’t ever be fooled into thinking otherwise.But when a relationship is in jeopardy, and you’re in that place where the littlest things seem to set off big issues inside your relationship… it’s not so simple.Ever since the 1960s and the women’s liberation movement, women have felt more empowered to be more assertive in all their relationships, not just in their marriages or love affairs.Chances are, you grew up hearing messages from the media, from friends, from books and magazines that it’s important to BE ASSERTIVE and speak your mind about what you’re feeling and what you need.It’s important to ask for what you want, or else how can you ever get what you want?Despite this, there may have been times you felt a little “put down” or taken for granted in your job or with your friends or family. And it’s probably likely there have been times you haven’t felt heard or appreciated in your relationship, either.For example…Your man is doing or saying something that is causing you a great deal of stress or frustration, and it’s driving you crazy.Let’s say the lawn is starting to look really bushy, he still hasn’t looked at the broken sink, and meanwhile he seems to be “wasting” a lot of a good Saturday morning messing around on the computer.You tell yourself that you need to assert yourself and simply tell him what he needs to do, or what you want.So you say something like, “You really need to mow the lawn today instead of sitting around in front of the computer all day. I’m sick of doing everything around here.”Let me ask you this – has that kind of assertiveness ever gotten you exactly what you wanted from a man?Did he jump right to it, kiss you tenderly on the cheek and tell you, “no problem, hon, I’ll do it right now.”I didn’t think so.It’s not wrong to ask and assert what you want.It’s how you assert yourself.This way of being assertive above tends to SHUT MEN DOWN, and it often builds hostility in men instead of diffusing it. And that’s because you are acting in a way that he perceives as being MASCULINE, and for him, that is an instant turn-off.Have you lost touch with your natural feminine energy?This is an energy you already hold inside of you. It has the power to pull a man a man closer to you and make him want to BE the man you need him to be.Because your man’s natural reaction to your feminine energy is for him to become more masculine, which is what will lead him back into being the man who loves you and leads the way forward for you both in your relationship.It’s this feminine energy that has the amazing power to CAPTIVATE a man, make him feel great, and make him want to do anything for you.In fact, it’s this that will have him ASKING and BEGGING to see what else he can do for you.Mature, strong feminine energy does NOT nag, “mother,” boss around, criticize or feel frustrated all the time.Exerting your natural feminine energy means being very open and honest – and I mean RADICALLY honest – with what you really want, feel and need, way deep down.So if you realize that you’ve been caught in this dangerous trap, don’t worry.



Dangerous Trap #2:

Asking for Advice From Friends and Family

Your man has done or said something that has really made you outraged or depressed.What’s the first thing you do when you’re alone?If you’re like most women, you’ll probably pick up the phone and call a friend to tell her about it.You’ll want to tell her about every single thing that was said, and what you thought and felt, because you’ll want to know from her what she thinks you should do.You’ll want to feel validated for feeling outraged or depressed.You want your friend to tell you that you’re RIGHT to feel angry or depressed, and that your man is a JERK for treating you that way.If this sounds like something you’ve done hundreds of times before, and if you probably also know that most of the “validation” and advice you’ve gotten from friends and family over the years has amounted to very little in the form of actual HELP for your situation.This is also a common trap that many women fall into when trying to save their relationship.They believe that they’ll feel better and get sound, positive advice from their friends or family if they can explain the situation in a way where they’ll be understood.But here’s the thing…No one will ever be as honest with you as you are with yourself.Your friends won’t tell you what it is they REALLY see, because they don’t want to make you feel WORSE than you’re already feeling.Your friends also can’t really know the nitty-gritty of how you and your man relate to one another, because 99% of the time they’re not there.Your friends probably haven’t had the insight and expertise to know what it really takes to make a relationship work for YOU and your man… so a lot of their advice may be leading you in the WRONG DIRECTION.Like, they may be telling you to LEAVE, when it’s possible all you have to do is a few small things to save your relationship and get it back on track.The danger here is that when you believe your friends or family when they give you “blanket” advice about what a jerk your guy is or how you should leave, all you’re doing is letting their biases affect your own good judgment of what is best for you.Don’t let this happen.


Dangerous Trap #3:

Not Sharing Your Hurt Feelings or Sharing Them Outside Your Relationship

I want to ask you a question and I want you to be very honest with yourself when you answer.Have you shared ALL of your hurt feelings and innermost secret needs with your boyfriend or husband?Have you admitted to him how much it hurts when he ignores you, or isn’t as affectionate or sexually attracted to you as he used to be?Have you told him how you feel about YOURSELF and how that’s affecting your relationship with him?Have you shared how it feels when he rejects you, or puts you down, or gets cold on you?Or have you instead said things like, “I can’t stand it anymore,” “You’re driving me insane,” or “Sometimes I just feel like I want to leave”?Or even worse, maybe you’re just THINKING those things and letting them fester inside you, while on the outside, you are winning the Academy Award for Best Actress pretending like nothing is bothering you.Is your guy a mind-reader?If your man doesn’t know what you’re really feeling and wanting, how in the world is he supposed to understand you and try to make things better?Telling a man “I can’t stand it anymore” is NOT the same as telling him, “I feel very abandoned and lonely because you haven’t been as physically affectionate with me as you used to be. It makes me feel unattractive and it hurts.”Here’s another trap you might have fallen into.Maybe instead of telling your boyfriend or husband how much you need him to find you attractive or sexy and cherish you the way he used to, you’re turning to ANOTHER MAN for validation that you’re attractive and loveable.It’s so very easy (and dangerous) to complain about your relationship to another man… an ex-boyfriend, someone you met on the Internet, a co-worker, a friend.It’s easy because it’s SAFE to share your hurt feelings with someone other than the person who hurt you.It’s DANGEROUS because it builds a false kind of intimacy with someone outside of your relationship… and all that does is KILL the intimacy between you and your man even more.Don’t go there if you ever want to get back the love and passion in your marriage or relationship.Turning to another man for the attention, affection or validation you need is never going to put you on the right track to getting what you need. It may even create MORE PROBLEMS within your own relationship… problems that aren’t so easy to solve or overcome.Just imagine how it is when you’re free from worrying how your boyfriend will react when you open up and are honest with him.Imagine what it’s going to be like when the things you say and do continue to bring you closer and closer together… even when things are at their hardest.Imagine the confidence and joy you’ll feel knowing that it’s not just you who’s holding things together… but your relationship shines so bright for you and the man you’re with that you both can’t help but stay intensely devoted, passionate and caring.It’s time you finally had this.

The 3 Deadly Mistakes Women Make With Men Without EVER Realizing It...

» Mistake #1:

Leading A Man To Think You Are "Needy" And "Insecure"

Did you know that there are 6 ways you can set off a man's "Insecurity Alert" and make him think twice about pursuing a relationship with you?
Sadly, even confident women often "accidentally" give off one of these signs... and just one can kill the chance of a man asking you on a second date.
As you read through these signals men pick up on as "needy" and unattractive, ask yourself if YOU have ever been guilty of committing one of these deadly mistakes:
Talking or saying nasty things about your past boyfriends. Saying bad things about men you have been involved with actually reflects the negatively back on YOU. It makes a man worry you are carrying around "baggage" that HE will have to deal with should he become involved with you.
Speaking negatively about other women. When women call other women names like "slut", "bitch", and "crazy", it is anything but impressive to a man you are attracted you. Women will often do this when they see a good looking, desirable woman, especially if they feel their man might be attracted to her. This just makes a man think you are trying to cover up your own insecurities, and looking for validation and attention. Not good.
Too much physical contact, especially in public.If you are constantly hanging on a man or touching him too much he'll start to see it as clingy behavior... but you'll never hear about this from him. It's far better to save your touches for short and infrequent moments that will surprise and enchant him.
The next 3 are far deadlier, but less obvious... and it's important that you learn what they are and how to avoid giving them off.


» Mistake #2:

Appealing To His "Sexual" Side Instead Of His Emotional Side

Many women make the mistake of thinking that men are primarily driven by sex alone... and think if they can attract a man SEXUALLY they will be able to attract him EMOTIONALLY as well.
Women too often give up sex to a man in the hopes that it will translate into a relationship and get them what they want. In reality, a man has the capacity to view a sexual connection and an emotional connection as two entirely different things, and it requires a special set of skills to mold these two things together in a man's mind... and keep them connected.
Men are out for far more than just sex... and a woman who knows how to fulfill a man EMOTIONALLY and SEXUALLY will be the woman who captures a man's heart... and gets that same fulfillment for HERSELF.....


» Mistake #3:

Not Knowing How To Size Up A Man's "Relationship Potential"

A lot of women will decide whether or not they should put energy into building a relationship with a man based on ATTRACTION.
Yes, attraction is important. But it can also be DANGEROUS.
When we feel a strong sense of attraction for someone, it can cause us to override our logic and ignore our instincts... leading us to overlook potential partner's deadly faults that could spell trouble down the road.
If you've ever found yourself stuck in a relationship that is dragging you down, this is probably why.
It's important to be able to size a guy up and spot any "warning signs" of a future bad relationship FAST... so you don't waste any of your time or emotional energy on someone who isn't right for you... or who will leave you heartbroken....

Thursday, December 3, 2009

“Man Myths” That Will Push A Good Man Away

Man Myth #1:

Men could take it or leave it when it comes to love and commitment, and would secretly rather “date around” than commit to one woman.

Truth: A man wants to be in a relationship, and has an important desire to be recognized as a great partner by his woman.
There are some of us that has accused a man of not being “ready” for a real relationship Or treated him as if he was constantly on the verge of dumping you
But then when as you had time to reflect, you saw that you were just carrying over something from the past that was causing you to feel hurt and uncertain now.

The truth of the matter is that WOMEN, not men, break off relationships or file for divorce nearly 70% of the time.
Women are much more likely to end relationships than men are.If that surprises you, realize that in one way or another you’ve been seeing things through the small lens of your own past experience with men.The truth is, men enjoy being in committed, loving relationships as much as the women men share them with.
A man who’s been married is much more likely to want to be married again - even though some women think of divorced men as men who couldn’t make it work and are less quality “relationship material.”
Men are not put off by the idea of commitment and a serious relationship with the right woman- AS LONG AS IT DOESN’T FEEL HARD for him.It might surprise you to know, but men are begging the women who make them feel great for love and marriage.
But lots of women are talking about how men aren’t able to commit, even though men are doing it every day.Here are a few simple but profound secrets about men…

Men will do anything to make sure they can avoid committing to a relationship with a woman who is often unhappy and, most importantly, hard to please.

Men crave the affection of a woman who they have an easy time making happy, and men want and need a woman who knows how to INSPIRE them to lead a great life - both as a man and a lover.

If a man starts seeing the signs and red flags of a hard to please woman, he’s going to immediately start questioning if the woman is right for him.

When you show a man that you trust him to be a good partner to you, you inspire his devotion and you trigger his attraction to you.

That’s why, when you know what men want, and what works for a man in your relationship… all of a sudden getting what YOU WANT from him becomes so easy you that wonder how it ever felt so impossible.

This shows you specific ways that women mess up a good thing by letting their FEAR of disappointment and MISTRUST of men get in the way and make what could be easy feel like pulling teeth.
This will finally show how the things you’re doing that are ACCIDENTALLY communicating to your man that he’s NOT a good partner, that you don’t appreciate or understand him, and that he can’t make you happy.

This is one of the most common ways women accidentally push away good men they love, and it’s a deal-breaker for a man.




Man Myth #2:

Men are more dominant in relationships, and in “control” when it comes to emotions and conflict.
A woman, therefore, has a harder time expressing herself.

Truths:-Women initiate and dominate in conflict in relationships 6 to 1 over men-
Men are less comfortable with, and less used to engaging in emotional conflict.It was discovered that men often LOOK detached or withdrawn in the heat of the moment as though they might not care… but feel intensely stressed by the argument, even up to several hours afterwards.
Meanwhile women in conflict, although affected, generally feel more comfortable engaging in and continuing to talk about issues of conflict.

In relationship conflict, men sink and women swim.Here’s something else fascinating…
It was observed that WOMEN (not men) dominated the communication by a ratio of 6 to 1.But the myths out there about men would have you seeing and believing the exact opposite.
Still, to you it might FEEL like men hold the cards when push comes to shove.Here’s one of the big reasons why…
One of the things that women SAY frustrates them most when it comes to men is when they tell a man how they feel about something and the man responds by saying,

“you’re too emotional” or “why are you so dramatic?”

This is difficult for a woman because it makes her feel as if she can’t express herself at all, or that she should NEVER tell a man how she’s feeling.
If you’ve ever heard this kind of comment from your guy, it might have had the effect of making you think you should never feel ANYTHING negative, or else you risk being told
you’re “too difficult.”
When a man reacts negatively when you express your feelings, it’s not that he wants to get away from YOU.
He wants to escape, but he wants to escape the FEELING he’s having, not you or your relationship.
When you start to know the TRUTH about how men feel during emotional conflict, it will change everything.
The most fascinating part to all this is that if you ask a man who’s holding the power in your relationship… he’ll know that as a woman YOU are.
You have the power to bring a man CLOSER in the way you express your feelings, or you have the power to OVERWHELM and confuse him, driving him further into his shell.A woman should never have to feel like she can’t have a “bad” day or express her negative feelings to a man.However, there are 7 specific ways you can communicate how you feel that will make a man feel you’re too needy, too dramatic, too emotional.Imagine your man not only asking “How was your day?” or “Are you ok” when you’re feeling down about something…but maybe even asking before you even SAY it…just because he can hear the shift in the tone of your voice or see the change in your body language.But imagine him listening intently and not taking any of what you’re going through too personally, and remaining a source of support for you?Knowing the right way to communicate your feelings can bring you closer together and create amazing intimacy… or it can drive your man away.The choice is yours.............



Man Myth #3:

Men aren’t all that interested in what their woman is feeling or experiencing.

That’s why they spend time zoning out in front of the TV, or watching sports, or tinkering in the garage rather than engaging with you.

Truth: Men have different needs when it comes relaxing, unwinding, experiencing their own bliss and “freedom.”
You and your man have just both had a long day.You decide that you’ll go out on a date to a great little place you both love. It’s a place that’s special and romantic for you.You can tell he’s a bit tired when he gets home, but off you go and you have a great time once you’re there. Throughout the night you finally get to catch up on all kinds of things you haven’t had a chance to connect about yet-
What’s happening with your friends and family…Work, crazy people in your life, funny things that have happened, and everything in between.It feels really great, and you and he are laughing and having fun.Dinner wraps up and you head home. When you get there you go undress and get ready to unwind together.When you come out he’s there in front of the TV, zoned out.You ask him if he wants to come to bed, but he barely responds and keeps watching the TV.Then a wave of frustration hits you- just when you thought you’d broken through with him and you’d finally get to relax and unwind together, he falls into that distant place where he barely seems to notice you or care.

Arrggh!
You feel hurt and frustrated, and what’s worse… when he senses this and hears this he gets irritated and angry with you.Then you’re both upset and frustrated at each other, feeling like the other one is to blame. And all the happy feelings and good will you felt during the evening now feels forced and you start to wonder if he was really paying attention to you… making things even worse than before.It doesn’t have to be this way.
If you know what’s going on with men here, what it means, and what naturally inspires your man to understand and see where you’re coming from... you’ll start sharing more of the experiences you want without having to ask for them or have habits of his that take away from this get in your way.
In other words, when he’s behaving like a man, it’s important not to penalize him for BEING a man.Which is HARD to do…at first. I get it.It’s not your fault that it can be hard for a man to get where you’re coming from.But it is your fault if you choose to do nothing about it....

Truth About Men In Relationships

#1 Truth About Men In Relationships


I’m going to let you in on a very important truth about men and why they so often stop being loving present partners in relationships…
If you don’t know what a man is looking for in a relationship, and what makes him feel great about staying with you… it’s likely that you’re unintentionally making the man you’re with feel like a FAILURE in your relationship.
And not just once in a while- you’re doing this in lots of small ways day in and day out that you haven’t even been conscious of before now.
This is a HUGE MISTAKE to make with a man, and it’s also this all important truth about men-
When a man feels like a failure, he will simply stop giving to your relationship.Stop and think about this for a second.Think about how this has been true for you with men in your past relationships.
Let me explain how big of a deal it is for a man to feel like a failure…

When a man feels attracted to a woman and chooses her as the one woman he wants…
part of what keeps drawing him closer to her is how easy it feels to be with her and make her happy.
This is the “honeymoon” stage of a relationship.
But when relationship issues come up, “buttons” are pushed, and arguments start…
most men are at a loss.
They don’t know how to handle it. In fact, often times they don’t even know what’s going on or where all this intense emotional stuff is coming from.
They just know that they don’t like it.What women often say to men at these times is received not as an effort to do good for the relationship, but as a CRITICISM.
And criticism quickly makes a man feel like a failure.
A failure at making his woman happy the way he used to so easily. And a failure at being simply WHO HE IS as a man.
When this kind of thing starts, a man feels like he can’t “win” with you.And once a guy starts to feel this way, you can’t “fix it.” You can only know exactly what this is and what it looks like, and stop doing it…Or… like lots of other women mistakenly do…
You can continue to push and poke and question him more, which only makes him feel like more of a failure in your eyes and pull farther away.When this kind of thing starts happening for you with your man… something changes for him in the relationship. And as much as you might not want it to be true… he is actually the one who feels confused about why your relationship isn’t working and is so unnecessarily hard.
And this makes him question whether or not he should even BE in a relationship with you.
Don’t let this cycle spiral out of control anymore and drag you and your relationships with men down, when it doesn’t have to be this way.


#2 Truth About Men In Relationships

I’ll tell you something true about a good man-
In this day in age, a good man doesn’t need a long-term relationship.
A good man might WANT one, if the right woman is in his life.But he doesn’t NEED one.
The only relationship a man “needs” is the kind that makes him feel like a stronger, better, wiser and more important man.

A man wants and needs to feel like a HERO in your relationship if he’s going to stay for the long haul.

Unfortunately, lots of men aren’t feeling this way in relationships and it’s causing them to act out or withdraw from their relationship in frustration.If a man doesn’t feel like a hero with you, and instead feels like a constant or semi-consistent FAILURE, then from experience I can tell you…It won’t last.And it only takes a few moments to shock a man into “failure mode” where he’ll start questioning everything and stop trying with you.
Don’t let this happen if you love each other.

2 Things Men Do That Seem Impossible to understand.

#1: “The 180”

You meet a guy who is obviously taken by you and can’t keep his mind or his hands off you. He’s constantly calling you, pursuing you, bringing you gifts, taking you out, and treating you like a princess.
You want to take things slow because you’re not 100% convinced he’s the right guy for you, so you “hold back” a little bit until you can get to know him better and know how you feel about him.
The more time you spend with him, however, the more you like what you see. You are really connecting and having fun together.
Then one day you have something you want to talk to him about.
Maybe it’s something that happened or that he did that hurt your feelings. Or maybe it’s that you want to find out how he feels about your relationship and where he sees it going.When you go to talk to him about it, he acts differently than he ever has with you.
Now HE’S the one putting on the brakes. Now he’s the one saying he “needs time” to sort things through.
Suddenly everything about him changes.
All the loving, thoughtful affectionate and reassuring things he liked doing for you stop.

No more call “just to hear your voice.”
No more “I’m thinking about you” messages.
No more “I can’t wait to see you.”

Suddenly he’s changed 180 degrees in the way he is with you.

It’s almost as if he was interested as long as you were a “challenge.” But as soon as you started to have feelings for him, he got bored. At least, that’s what it seems like.
If you try to talk to him about it, he just gets more distant or annoyed.

So you’re stuck not knowing what happened, or what to do.


#2: The “I’m Not Ready” Excuse

You’ve been dating a man for a few weeks or months and you are getting along great and things feel easy. You’ve planned a nice weekend getaway together and you’re looking forward to it.
Suddenly, he tells you that he wants to postpone the trip because something came up. The excuse seems “fishy” somehow, and you can’t help but think back to a past relationship where the guy started making excuses about why he couldn’t spend time with you, and eventually ended up leaving your relationship.
You again wonder if he’s just “too nice” to tell you how he really feels. So you try to head him off at the pass by asking him if he wants to be in the relationship. To keep your cool you act “tough” and tell him you’re ok either way, you just want to know sooner rather than later what’s really going on and if he’s really there for you and your relationship.
He assures you it’s not what he’s thinking and that he wants to be with you. But you can’t seem to relax.
Things feel awkward He tells you for a couple of weeks afterward and then finally, it happens…he’s not “ready” for a serious relationship right now.

Aha!
You think,
“I was right all along.”
Despite what he told you AT FIRST…he really didn’t want to be in a relationship with you.
You were right about what he was thinking and feeling.Or were you?

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

SOME REASONS WHY GUYS LEAVE GIRLS

1.The "Pleasure Principle"
Men, and women, generally want to FEEL GOOD intheir lives.
And they want to have the people around them be a source of pleasure and comfort and support.
Yourself included.
When you are constantly freaking out on a man for what it is about him that freaks you out, you quickly turn into one of the people that it DOESN'T FEEL GOOD to be around.
And this has a huge impact on whether or not he wants to invest more time, effort, and energy in you and your relationship.
Or if he will decide to give up on trying to fix what's going on with you so you can both feel good together.


2. Emotional Experience And The Future
For a man in a relationship, the ways a woman acts in the "little" situations become indicators of how she's going to respond when things really are tough and in the future.
So if a woman is consistently negative and emotional... and can't get herself together even when a man tries to explain things and comfort her... then a man isn't going to think that things could be any better in the future together.

Friday, October 16, 2009

I WILL BE BACK SOON WITH .....