Thursday, December 3, 2009

“Man Myths” That Will Push A Good Man Away

Man Myth #1:

Men could take it or leave it when it comes to love and commitment, and would secretly rather “date around” than commit to one woman.

Truth: A man wants to be in a relationship, and has an important desire to be recognized as a great partner by his woman.
There are some of us that has accused a man of not being “ready” for a real relationship Or treated him as if he was constantly on the verge of dumping you
But then when as you had time to reflect, you saw that you were just carrying over something from the past that was causing you to feel hurt and uncertain now.

The truth of the matter is that WOMEN, not men, break off relationships or file for divorce nearly 70% of the time.
Women are much more likely to end relationships than men are.If that surprises you, realize that in one way or another you’ve been seeing things through the small lens of your own past experience with men.The truth is, men enjoy being in committed, loving relationships as much as the women men share them with.
A man who’s been married is much more likely to want to be married again - even though some women think of divorced men as men who couldn’t make it work and are less quality “relationship material.”
Men are not put off by the idea of commitment and a serious relationship with the right woman- AS LONG AS IT DOESN’T FEEL HARD for him.It might surprise you to know, but men are begging the women who make them feel great for love and marriage.
But lots of women are talking about how men aren’t able to commit, even though men are doing it every day.Here are a few simple but profound secrets about men…

Men will do anything to make sure they can avoid committing to a relationship with a woman who is often unhappy and, most importantly, hard to please.

Men crave the affection of a woman who they have an easy time making happy, and men want and need a woman who knows how to INSPIRE them to lead a great life - both as a man and a lover.

If a man starts seeing the signs and red flags of a hard to please woman, he’s going to immediately start questioning if the woman is right for him.

When you show a man that you trust him to be a good partner to you, you inspire his devotion and you trigger his attraction to you.

That’s why, when you know what men want, and what works for a man in your relationship… all of a sudden getting what YOU WANT from him becomes so easy you that wonder how it ever felt so impossible.

This shows you specific ways that women mess up a good thing by letting their FEAR of disappointment and MISTRUST of men get in the way and make what could be easy feel like pulling teeth.
This will finally show how the things you’re doing that are ACCIDENTALLY communicating to your man that he’s NOT a good partner, that you don’t appreciate or understand him, and that he can’t make you happy.

This is one of the most common ways women accidentally push away good men they love, and it’s a deal-breaker for a man.




Man Myth #2:

Men are more dominant in relationships, and in “control” when it comes to emotions and conflict.
A woman, therefore, has a harder time expressing herself.

Truths:-Women initiate and dominate in conflict in relationships 6 to 1 over men-
Men are less comfortable with, and less used to engaging in emotional conflict.It was discovered that men often LOOK detached or withdrawn in the heat of the moment as though they might not care… but feel intensely stressed by the argument, even up to several hours afterwards.
Meanwhile women in conflict, although affected, generally feel more comfortable engaging in and continuing to talk about issues of conflict.

In relationship conflict, men sink and women swim.Here’s something else fascinating…
It was observed that WOMEN (not men) dominated the communication by a ratio of 6 to 1.But the myths out there about men would have you seeing and believing the exact opposite.
Still, to you it might FEEL like men hold the cards when push comes to shove.Here’s one of the big reasons why…
One of the things that women SAY frustrates them most when it comes to men is when they tell a man how they feel about something and the man responds by saying,

“you’re too emotional” or “why are you so dramatic?”

This is difficult for a woman because it makes her feel as if she can’t express herself at all, or that she should NEVER tell a man how she’s feeling.
If you’ve ever heard this kind of comment from your guy, it might have had the effect of making you think you should never feel ANYTHING negative, or else you risk being told
you’re “too difficult.”
When a man reacts negatively when you express your feelings, it’s not that he wants to get away from YOU.
He wants to escape, but he wants to escape the FEELING he’s having, not you or your relationship.
When you start to know the TRUTH about how men feel during emotional conflict, it will change everything.
The most fascinating part to all this is that if you ask a man who’s holding the power in your relationship… he’ll know that as a woman YOU are.
You have the power to bring a man CLOSER in the way you express your feelings, or you have the power to OVERWHELM and confuse him, driving him further into his shell.A woman should never have to feel like she can’t have a “bad” day or express her negative feelings to a man.However, there are 7 specific ways you can communicate how you feel that will make a man feel you’re too needy, too dramatic, too emotional.Imagine your man not only asking “How was your day?” or “Are you ok” when you’re feeling down about something…but maybe even asking before you even SAY it…just because he can hear the shift in the tone of your voice or see the change in your body language.But imagine him listening intently and not taking any of what you’re going through too personally, and remaining a source of support for you?Knowing the right way to communicate your feelings can bring you closer together and create amazing intimacy… or it can drive your man away.The choice is yours.............



Man Myth #3:

Men aren’t all that interested in what their woman is feeling or experiencing.

That’s why they spend time zoning out in front of the TV, or watching sports, or tinkering in the garage rather than engaging with you.

Truth: Men have different needs when it comes relaxing, unwinding, experiencing their own bliss and “freedom.”
You and your man have just both had a long day.You decide that you’ll go out on a date to a great little place you both love. It’s a place that’s special and romantic for you.You can tell he’s a bit tired when he gets home, but off you go and you have a great time once you’re there. Throughout the night you finally get to catch up on all kinds of things you haven’t had a chance to connect about yet-
What’s happening with your friends and family…Work, crazy people in your life, funny things that have happened, and everything in between.It feels really great, and you and he are laughing and having fun.Dinner wraps up and you head home. When you get there you go undress and get ready to unwind together.When you come out he’s there in front of the TV, zoned out.You ask him if he wants to come to bed, but he barely responds and keeps watching the TV.Then a wave of frustration hits you- just when you thought you’d broken through with him and you’d finally get to relax and unwind together, he falls into that distant place where he barely seems to notice you or care.

Arrggh!
You feel hurt and frustrated, and what’s worse… when he senses this and hears this he gets irritated and angry with you.Then you’re both upset and frustrated at each other, feeling like the other one is to blame. And all the happy feelings and good will you felt during the evening now feels forced and you start to wonder if he was really paying attention to you… making things even worse than before.It doesn’t have to be this way.
If you know what’s going on with men here, what it means, and what naturally inspires your man to understand and see where you’re coming from... you’ll start sharing more of the experiences you want without having to ask for them or have habits of his that take away from this get in your way.
In other words, when he’s behaving like a man, it’s important not to penalize him for BEING a man.Which is HARD to do…at first. I get it.It’s not your fault that it can be hard for a man to get where you’re coming from.But it is your fault if you choose to do nothing about it....

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